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Mikero
Super Robot
Posts: 11986
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« Reply #238 on: 29 February 2008, 08:36:13 » |
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So in my T-kick and through the magic of internet flash players I watched all three Terminator movies today. The Terminator, 1984
It was good to see The Terminator again, as it's not often on TV and I don't own any of the movies. For some reason I had it in my head that Kyle and Sarah were a few years younger, so I'm glad that got out of my system. Plus I felt like hearing Kyle explain some stuff again to see how it matched up with the rest of it all. And seeing the part they used for the cover of Metal Gear, the part where Sarah's photo burns (which was recently alluded to in the TV series along with that whole massacre), ans seeing Kyle drive a car that looks like the General Lee with a big plasma mini-gun mounted on top it while fighting some kind of massive Skynet assault robot (T-Tank?) during the opening were all pretty cool.
And Sarah Connor's boobies when that actress was still young and good looking.
If it was still 1984 (and I was born and sentient) the T-800 (Arnold) would have scared the ##### out of me. Not now, being that it's 24 years later and rubbery faces with metal and a red eye look like crap. But you know.
What we learned: "The future is not set. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be."
Terminator 2: Judgment Day, 1994
Well of course it's the best movie of all of them. AND it doesn't ##### up the timeline since at the end of this movie you can call it a day; The research that leads to Cyberdyne System's creation of Skynet from the hand and the chip of the T-800 from the first movie. Unlike that T-800 though, the villain of this movie still kind of irks me. It mostly has something to do with watching it when I was a kid, but still, that T-1000 is a creepy mother#####er. He has all the badassosity of Arnold in the first movie, but has that whole "I can charm my way into your house" crap since the T-800 in the first movie was a straight up big honking fiend. A monster. He "never stops", to haphazardly quote Kyle in the first movie. Okay. Wicked. A big ass lummox is coming for you.
But then T-1000 comes in and #####s that up all over the place, 'cause he's still the baddest of asses but then he's got all that sick charm. AND he can change shape, and that's never not creepy. Plus he constantly stabs people through with arm blading. Oh, and shooting him is worthless, running him over is worthless. Stabbing, freezing, teasing, none of it works. The only thing you can do is melt him. MELT HIM. Now, in my life melting stuff comes up all the time. But for you? Yeah I know, I'd ##### my pants too.
But holy #####, John Connor. This kid is 9 or 10? NINE OR TEN? I mean, I know he's messed up and all that, but uh... Whoo. That kid talks like a sailor. I figured he was about 13 just from watching. He couldn't be older but I did the math and he's 10. I'm not sure how long after conception the scene with preggers Sarah is in the first movie, so he could be 9. Either way, that's #####ed. He steals and swears like... Well at LEAST 13. Think about it. When I was ten, I was in grade five. I swore all the time and watched porn and ##### but that's 'cause where I used to live my best friend was like 4 years older than me...
... Maybe it's not that odd that he's ten. >_>
But, the third movie AND the TV series both change John's age at the time of T2 to 13, for whatever reason. Maybe because it feels right.
Anyway the movie ends with the heartfelt moment that still tearjerks a friend of mine to this day. It's all sad and triumphant at the same time like the first movie. And now the machines will never try to usurp the planet... Or so we're led to believe!
What we learned: "The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves."... again.
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, 2003
So yeah. It's Judgment Day finally. The movie was... Pretty throwaway. But I finally saw it so that's good. Hm. Not a lot happens in the movie. It was all in the commercial really. The guy who played John Connor, while looking nothing like the kid from T2, looks exactly like John Connor. He looks like a lot like the guy that played Kyle Reese in the first Terminator. And the guy playing John in the show looks like an inbetween version of the T2 and T3 Johns. So that's something.
T-X is crap though. Of all the Terminator series I've seen in action over the years (T-70, T-800/101, T-850, T-888, T-1000, T-1000000, and whatever the hell Cameron is), T-X is definitely the lamest. I mean, the T-70 was in the "Terminator 2: 3-D"/"Terminator 3-D" thing at Universal Studios and it was literally supposed to be the first humanoid shaped Terminator and the last one made directly by Cyberdyne, so it's supposed to be a piece of crap robot with a machine gun. The T-1 million is lame as can be, except I at least thought that was cool when I saw it ten years ago. Being 12 will do that.
The T-X is just... blah. A bunch of gimmicks fused into one Terminator. A girl was an interesting move I guess, they do it in the show and it works out OK. It definitely would make the bot creepier. Except there's a key difference between "Cameron" (such a clever name  ) and the T-X; The T-X looks like total bitch. She slicks her hair up like a shallow man-eater in the first ten minutes of the movie just to prove it. Cameron is small and has that whole innocent young girl thing going. Her expressions (or lack there of) are creepy, but as it was said in the show she's just plain freaky 'cause on the outside she's as sweet as any young girl but inside she's just another one of THEM. Then, the T-X has similar abilities to T-1000. Which is crap. They just wanted to make the threat the same, but it didn't work. Her liquid stuff utterly fails to be useful to her or interesting to me until her face goes all liquid pissed off at the end. And the fact that she talks like three times makes her even more boring. The ability to control other machines? Eh. Ill-conceived. An OK idea I guess, but implemented badly. It was basically worthless until she got to the T-800.
And the T-800's explanation of John Connor's future death? Crap. Not only is it just gay because the John Connor of the future doesn't seem to type to fall for something as easy as that, but also it just doesn't make sense. In the first movie Kyle Reese says the whole reason Skynet sent a T-800 back in time to kill Sarah Connor is because killing John Connor in the future wouldn't accomplish anything since Skynet's already lost the war and sending Terminators back is a last attempt. So, the whole "a T-800 came and iced John in the future" is a trashy method of trying to make the girl seem important.
Also, this all happens in 2004 and the TV series #####s up by placing Judgment Day in the 2010's. Why? I don't know, but I like it better as I could never imagine Skynet being created by 2004.
That said. It was OK, I guess. But pretty flimsy. Not enough of actual Judgment Day and it screwed around too much. But I liked the almost Twilight Zone-esque ending with the narrative and a truck-out to nukes going off worldwide.
What wtf @ no explanation how Cyberdyne made Skynet without the arm and chip from the first T.
What we learned: There's no stopping the future....?Aaaannnnnnd that's it for unasked dorkliness on my part. Keep in mind I could only have noticed this stuff because I watched them all in a row, and I've accumulated knowledge over 21 years... Whatever, still dorky. |
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Captain Sanoguchi
Super Robot
Posts: 3211
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« Reply #241 on: 1 March 2008, 15:20:13 » |
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Well, I just saw it last night with Irradiated-Man.
It was pretty good, it got a 4.5 out of 5 from both of us.
It relies too much on cheap laughs in the beginning (though it was still moderately funny) and starts off kind of slow, but once it actually gets going it's awesome.
Yeah, you should definitely go see it if you're a fan of Jack Black, or if you just like hilarious remakes of classic movies. But be warned, the movie isn't all about remaking movies, though the 'sweding' takes up a big part of the movie their are plenty of scenes in which no classic movies are mentioned or parodied. Still, there are plenty of nonmovie scenes in which classic movie themes are implemented, one example is Jerry (Jack Black) getting in an accident with electricity and coming back from the experience with a strange ability.
Yeah, but like I said, it's a good movie, it's funny and it leaves you with a warm feeling at the end. I'd suggest seeing it with a friend.
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