The MOVIE Thread

[Vinchenz Rock]

The one before Anaconda could be Fahrenheit 451.

[Johncarllos]

I second that except I say that it definitely IS.

[Mikero]

Ahaha, I read the whole thing.

"Something out of a comic book!", "this happens seventeen times", and "let's hack the internet" all made me laugh pretty hard.

"She wears glasses because she's also the smartest woman in the world" was the first that got me, heh.

Yeah should be alright.

And now, What if Michael Bay wrote The Dark Knight?

Everyone read this.
They hack ALL the internets.

Everyone do what John just said.

I'm gonna check out the link Yubi posted when I'm home later tonight.

Posted on:  9 July 2008, 17:35:52

OK. Hellboy II was good. I really liked it. Better than the first one story-wise, funnier than the first one, plus it has Johann Krauss! And Hellboy doesn't look made of plastic. And Abe Sapien's voice is different, but not bad. Might even be better actually. He looks more alive than in the first one too. Also Snare is in it and is wicked.

Edit: On the Russian thing, I think the one before the one that is most certainly Fahrenheit 451, that could be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas but that's just a pretty half-hazard guess. I have absolutely no idea what the first one, the Croc one, or the one with the guy using the computer are.

Although come to think of it, that computer one could be Johnny Mnemonic, since he seems to be putting a USB stick up his ass. But that's a more reckless guess than Fear and Loathing.

[Vinchenz Rock]

The Fahrenheit 451 movie sucked REALLY bad... Even if you watch it before reading the book you would find it bad.

Which is sad because the book is beautiful. Some of the best writing I've ever read.

I heard another movie's coming out in 2009, though, supposed to be truer to the book.

[Speed Racer]

I thought the movie was pretty good.

[spoiler]The girl lives in both the movie and the play, Bradbury noted this and while he didn't exactly agree with it, felt that it made the story better for general audiences[/spoiler].

[Yubi Shines]

Edit: On the Russian thing, I think the one before the one that is most certainly Fahrenheit 451, that could be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas but that's just a pretty half-hazard guess. I have absolutely no idea what the first one, the Croc one, or the one with the guy using the computer are.

Although come to think of it, that computer one could be Johnny Mnemonic, since he seems to be putting a USB stick up his ass. But that's a more reckless guess than Fear and Loathing.

The USB one is the most confusing because he looks exactly like JohnnyDepp!Wonka, but for the computer. I'm not familiar with Johnny Mnemonic and I haven't seen Fear and Loathing yet, so I wouldn't know.

I think I heard that the crocodile is based on some actual folk tale than a movie? I don't know. For all I know it could be based on a movie that was based on a Russian folktale about a crocodile. Talk about recursion.

[Mikero]

Johnny Mnemonic is about people that can store data files in their brains and then can also transport the data to someone for money. Keanu Reeve's character takes on   a bigger file than he's got space for and it starts #####ing him up. A story unfolds, blah blah.

I think Matrix and Terminator are the most obvious ones. Matrix has the déja vu cats, blue pill, poses, the phone, etc. Terminator has the metal half face, the bike, the blackmith's shop in the background (allusion to either where Sarah Connor killed the first Terminator or where T-1000 and the second Terminator bought it, probably the former).

[ASR]

I finally saw both The Hulk and The Love Guru.

The Hulk was FANTASTIC. Everything I was hyping it up to be. I know I'm a bit late, but still. Marvelous stuff. Ed Norton's my dog.

The Love Guru was... actually not terrible. I liked it a HELLUVA lot more than Zohan, and they're both the same sort of movie: big-name funnyman makes purposely juvenile movie not to be taken too seriously.
Love Guru might not be the best movie nor the funniest, but it was definitely entertaining and fun to watch. Mike Myers is just funny, though.

[Yubi Shines]

*sputters with horror*

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/25476518.html

[preventerWIND]

Ew. Get a tan.

[Chron]

... what is this twilight thing?
*reads Wikipedia*

...

...

... This is the most unimaginative thing I think I've ever read about.
Could the author possibly think of an ORIGINAL storyline that hasn't been done to death?
Maybe more original titles?
Maybe some characters and character-based relationships that AREN'T based on common mythologies?

Oh man, and I bet the main character is one of those damn annoying girls who won't shut up.

[ASR]

I've known about that for a while. A few of my girl friends are OBSESSED with that series, and I hate everything vampires so I always make fun of them. They told me about the movie this instant it was announced.

[Yubi Shines]

Oh man, and I bet the main character is one of those damn annoying girls who won't shut up.

The main character is Bella, short for Isabella Swan. She has ivory skin that doesn't tan in the sun. She's a newcomer in a town that strangely bears no resemblance to its real world counterpart (I know a person who's lived there). She's wildly intelligent, has read all the classics from Chaucer to Shakespeare, and becomes obsessed by vampires because they're all smokin' hot. The plot doesn't start proper until about four hundred pages in, because up until then it's all about her romance with Edward. (The book is five to six hundred pages in length.)

Why do I know this much? Because people I thought were my friends posted great long excerpts of it at me in AIM until I wanted to die.

[Chron]

... whoa, whoa, WHOA.

The main character is a MARY SUE?
WHERE IS THE AUTHOR
WHY IS THIS BOOK POPULAR
I'M GOING TO GRIND SOME BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD
I NEED MY MEDICINE

[Mikero]

Ew. Get a tan.

The girl is nice though. I couldn't care less about the man and his exposed oval nipples.

[ASR]

He looks like my only gay friend so it just fits for me, really.

[Mikero]

Anyway.

TODAY I GOT A PASS TO GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT ON WEDNESDAY!




















Jealous?

[Speed Racer]

Eat a dick.

[Mikero]

No thanks, I'll go see The Dark Knight before you even have the option to and do it for free instead, thanks.

[ASR]

Well, after you do that, then.

[The Otaku]

I watched the 2008 Rambo on Comcast at a party. It's pretty good, even though it has no real storyline and just lots of blood and gore. But it's politically incorrect. In truth, Burmese people didn't torture citizens as severely as it was shown in Rambo. Maybe they did in the past, but these days Burmese soldiers are more civil. I should know, I'm Burmese.

[ASR]

But are you a Burmese SOLDIER?

[The Otaku]

Yeah, deep, deep inside my heart, I am evil and twisted and dumb and I wanna be a dictator. Which I do, I adore Hitler. "Heil Hitler!"

[Chron]

I used to be like you.
Then I realized that he was a just a scared little German midget sociopath.

I idolize Stalin now.
at least i think so

[The Otaku]

A scared little German midget sociopath with a tootbrush moustache.

In other news, I flip open a Shonen Jump mag and I get bombarded with 'New Live Action DBZ Film!'

God please help me.

[Mikero]

Yeah. Not funny.

Anyway, you can't know what goes on in the military of yours or any other countries unless you're running them, and running them directly.

So talk to Haliburton.

[Edgecrusher]

Just got back from Hellboy II.

I love del Toro's artistic styling, and he can write a fairly decent story line, but the romance sub-plots (of which there are many) felt forced and unnatural.

A love story poisoned the first movie, and this movie doesn't handle them any better.

[Mikero]

I don't like Liz-Hellboy romance crap because it never happened in the comics. I didn't mind the other romance but I see what you mean. But this movie was more of a B.P.R.D. movie than a Hellboy movie all in all, which is neat.

[Edgecrusher]

Yes and no.

The BRPD aspects held my attention quite well, but it also gave me the feeling that there was more interesting stuff happening elsewhere for a good portion of the movie.

[Mikero]

Yeah I see what you mean, but I didn't mind it.

[Chron]

I just now came back from watching Hellboy II. I liked it.
Mind you I've read very, very little of the comics, but the movie itself holds up solidly.

The romance scenes are a little overdone at points, but so much awesome crap happens later because of it that you can't complain. They tie in things and keep the movie's plot pretty solid and devoid of loose ends (well, mostly).

This sort of thing is important when you're marketing to more than a niche audience.
I'd say it's a good compromise, but I'm curious to know what Lunche thinks (probably hates it).

[Speed Racer]

No thanks, I'll go see The Dark Knight before you even have the option to and do it for free instead, thanks.

*weeps*

[preventerWIND]

I just finished watching Hellboy 2, less than legal ways of course.. Good stuff, When Mike told me that Liz and HB didn't actually have a relationship in the series I never would have imagined what happened in the movie would happen. But I digress, the action scenes were pretty solid, didn't help that the screen size was ass though. After watching the first movie I really wanna get into HB, and after watching this, I want to even more. Of course, buying the comics and catching up on the series is gonna be a burden, so I'll find some other way.. some how

Also, the Dark Knight doesn't interest me, not one bit. Not a fan of DC.

Posted on: 14 July 2008, 14:32:37

This movie hurts me.

Disaster Movie

Why do these guys keep making movies? God #####ing damnit..

heres the poster for the movie, incase you don't want to watch the trailer (which I recommend you don't)

[ASR]

Ugh, I've been bitching about this for a while now. Definitely watch the trailer. Just so that you know how horrible it's going to be. There isn't even a funny joke IN the trailer.

Not only that, but nothing in the trailer has anything to do with any sort of Disaster Movie.

I mean, look at the poster. Nothing in THAT even has anything to do with a Disaster Movie!

One of the posters I saw had the statue of liberty half-underwater wearing a snorkeling mask, an obvious spoof of The Day After Tomorrow. However, how the ##### do you a spoof a movie like The Day After Tomorrow?! That movie was so bad that it was awesome, but the point is that it's bad. But I do love it. I mean, Jake Gyllenhal gets chased down a hallways by GLOBAL WARMING at the end! And there's wolves!

Anyway, with The Day After Tomorrow, they're quite a while late anyway.
The only other poster I saw had like Indiana Jones crushed by that boulder that chases him. And it says "ROCK ON." I literally stopped in the hall of the theater with my friend to point it out and talk about how horrible it is.

These aren't movies.

They're just horrible abominations of mixed pop-culture references.

[Chron]

The Day After Tomorrow was that apocalyptic snowstorm movie, right?
I liked it, but then I like ice and snow.

I make it a point not to watch any movie with "Movie" in the title.

The first thing that happened in that trailer? Iron man being squashed by a car cow?
... what was that about?
That doesn't even make enough sense to be funny, unless you're a five-year-old.

The rest of it is just more of the same poorly coordinated slapstick "comedy" with very, very poor acting.

[preventerWIND]

I believe he was crushed my a cow. This movie is terrible.. I remember watching Scary Movie and it was alright, funny even.. but this is just going too far.

I have a friend who talks about these movies all the time, and thinks their spoofs are hilarious. I shun that friend quite often..

[ASR]

The first Scary Movie was decent, and the second one wasn't horrible either. I almost enjoyed Scary Movie 3 because I was a big fan of The Ring and Signs.

Everything afterwards has left me speechless.

[Chron]

None of them are any good, if you ask me.

They're all inane attempts at comedic spoofing.

[ASR]

I'm just saying the first two Scary Movies were the closest to anything watchable.

Everything just spiraled out of control afterwards.

[Abominator]

Scary Movie 2 is one of the worst things ever created.

I saw that and the Ali G movie in one day and contemplated suicide soon after.

[Lunchebox]

I went to see Hellboy II on Friday.

I threw up about 30-40 minutes in.

It was unrelated to the movie though, but I didn't get to see it all, so that sucks.

[ASR]

I saw that and the Ali G movie in one day and contemplated suicide soon after.

I hear NOTHING but bad things about the Ali G movie.

[Mikero]

I like it.

Anyway these people should just spoof their own movies. At least that would contain them to not ruining other people's ##### with crappy ass costumes like that Hellbitch in the poster.

[Chron]

.... Movie Movie?
I would have to shoot everyone.
In the world.

[ASR]

Mike, I promise you they will get to that point. They will run out of things and spoof their own movies, somehow.

[Mikero]

I can't wait to not see Spoof Movie and Meet The Coneheads.

I just finished watching Hellboy 2, less than legal ways of course.. Good stuff, When Mike told me that Liz and HB didn't actually have a relationship in the series I never would have imagined what happened in the movie would happen. But I digress, the action scenes were pretty solid, didn't help that the screen size was ass though. After watching the first movie I really wanna get into HB, and after watching this, I want to even more. Of course, buying the comics and catching up on the series is gonna be a burden, so I'll find some other way.. some how
[/img]

Trade Paperbacks, man, trade paperbacks. AKA Collections to you newbars. Just get volume 1 and go one from there. I'm actually still just started into reading volume 1 because I keep getting customers and frienemies coming into the store and talking at me.

No thanks, I'll go see The Dark Knight before you even have the option to and do it for free instead, thanks.

*weeps*

[Lunchebox]

I can't wait to not see Spoof Movie and Meet The Coneheads.

I just finished watching Hellboy 2, less than legal ways of course.. Good stuff, When Mike told me that Liz and HB didn't actually have a relationship in the series I never would have imagined what happened in the movie would happen. But I digress, the action scenes were pretty solid, didn't help that the screen size was ass though. After watching the first movie I really wanna get into HB, and after watching this, I want to even more. Of course, buying the comics and catching up on the series is gonna be a burden, so I'll find some other way.. some how
[/img]

Trade Paperbacks, man, trade paperbacks. AKA Collections to you newbars. Just get volume 1 and go one from there. I'm actually still just started into reading volume 1 because I keep getting customers and frienemies coming into the store and talking at me.

No thanks, I'll go see The Dark Knight before you even have the option to and do it for free instead, thanks.

*weeps*

The first volume, to me, is hard to get through at times, since Byrne wrote the dialog for it.

Everything after Seed of Destruction is GOLDEN though.

[Captain Sanoguchi]

WHERE THE ##### ARE THEY GETTING THE MONEY TO KEEP MAKING THESE #####TY MOVIES!?

...This is why I always just mark this thread as read.

[Dizzy]

Jeez. Those movies only get made because kids in middle school think it'll be cool to go see. Much like when I was there and the first and second Scary Movie came out. I saw Hellboy II and Meet Dave on Sunday... I think. Didn't have high expectations for Meet Dave, and then I started laughing uncontrollably within the first 2 minutes and it seemed to never stop. Very solid comedy. And Hellboy 2 was freaking AWESOME. Del Toro amazes me again. And I'm going to a midnight showing of Dark Knight tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm freaking excited.

[preventerWIND]

I heard Meet Dave was really funny, but it was also really crap. Eddie Murphy even skipped his own premier to see it.