The MOVIE Thread

[ASR]

Mike Judge's next film "Extract" looks absolutely fantastic.

[Johncarllos]

Ben Affleck looks like a bearded Adam Sandler+Ben Stiller combo.

I bet I know how it's going to end.

[Mikero]

He looks like a lame version of The Dude.

And I wouldn't say it looks "absolutely fantastic" but if a real trailer comes out maybe I'll change my mind. Looks aight as is though.

[ASR]

I got a really nice vibe from the trailer and I had just come off from reading an article about it that really hyped it up, so that's why I'm excited.

[preventerWIND]

Ben Affleck looks like a bearded Adam Sandler+Ben Stiller combo.

I thought the same thing.

Looks good, Mike Judges stuff is pretty solid so this'll probably be good.

[ASR]

A couple friends and I went to see Crank 2 tonight, but we didn't check what time it started and we were late, so we saw I Love You, Man instead, which we all wanted to see just as much anyway.

It was really funny, I definitely enjoyed it.

After it was over, we were walking out when we looked at the schedule thing and realized Crank 2 was starting in 10 minutes. So we walked right back in (didn't even really TRY to sneak, we just walked in and nobody said anything) and impulsively saw Crank 2.

It was... wow. Just even MORE ridiculous than the first, and if you've seen that, you know how implausible that is. It was absolutely unbelievably fun. Just fun. So much fun. See this with a group of friends who just want to go "WHAT. WHAT THE... WHAT THE #####? HOLY... GODDAMN. OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAZY. IS THAT...?!"

Yeah.

Oh, and then we realized we didn't have a ride back so we walked all the way back to campus, which was a lot farther than we thought, and it was pretty cold out, but we were in T-shirts and shorts because when we left it was in the high 60's.

But yeah. Great pair of movies.

[Johncarllos]

Yesterday it got up to 62 here.
Stayed above 50 until 2AM.

[Majikn]

We don't technically lose money for showing a movie to someone who hasn't paid. We don't register your admission, so no one ends up paying or being paid for your seeing a movie. If we gave you free admission it would cost us more than letting you just walk in. Of course, that'd be legal. But you know.

So even if you were noticed, nobody cared. But you probably weren't because no one is really paid to try and notice.

[ASR]

Yeah, I mean I've snuck into movies a bunch of times, as has half the teen world, but this time we literally just walked out, said "Hey, wanna' go back in and see Crank 2?", and then walked right back in. But yeah. My point is that Crank 2 was #####ing insane.

[Johncarllos]

I have never done that.

[ASR]

For me, it was always more sneaking in friends that weren't 17.

[Mikero]

I've never stolen a theatre movie.

ALEC.

I've never had to sneak anyone into anything by other means than just pretending they were of age, either.

ALEC.

[Chron]

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!

You've violated the law, now either surrender your stolen goods to me or go to jail!

> Pay fine. 80 gold
> Go to jail.
> Resist arrest.

[ASR]

>roll doubles

HERE IS A LIST OF CRAZY THINGS CRANK 2 HAD (SPOILERS FOR THIS MOVIE ARE RETARDED BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE ALREADY):
[spoiler]
- a crossdressing hispanic who died in the first movie playing that character's identical brother, and he has FULL BODY TOURRETTES
- a floating head in a tank of the main bad guy from the first movie
- Amy Smart with her nipples taped with black electrical tape
- a guy cutting off his own nipples
- a Godzilla-esque fight scene where Chev Chelios and the guy he's fighting become giant dudes fighting in a power plant area for NO REASON wearing weird plastic masks of their faces
- a ferret licking its own balls for a minute
- Chev Chelios JOLTING HIMSELF WITH ANY POSSIBLE ELECTRICAL SOURCE
- Chev Chelios fighting cops but then they TAZE HIM AND HE IS SUPER-POWERFUL AGAIN AND KICKS THEIR ASSES
- Chev Chelios ON #####ING FIRE FOR THE ENTIRE LAST FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE
- public sex scene with Amy Smart and Jason Statham on a horse-race track
- SLOW MOTION HORSE JUNK
- one huge fat sumo asian guy getting pummelled in the nuts until they bleed by a whore with a bicycle
- an insane Asian bitch who DRAMATICALLY POINTS
- Chev Chelios LUBING UP A SHOTGUN AND SHOVING IT ALL THE WAY UP SOME GUY'S ASS
- a stripper gets shot through her breasts AND THEY DEFLATE AS THE SILICONE DRIPS OUT[/spoiler]

Insaaaaaaaane.

[saldite]

Sounds like my kind of movie.

[ASR]

It's out-of-control and so over-the-top and they know it. It's a modern-day exploitation movie, but a genuine one, not like Grindhouse where they're just harkening back to the old days of exploitation.

This is exploiting the NOW of our insanity.

[Mikero]

I just read the first spoiler and was like "Done."

Posted on: 19 April 2009, 14:49:08

I just saw Adventureland and it kinda sucks. Like... a more decisive person might say the movie is bad. That ain't me. The actual plot of the movie was interesting enough to me, it wasn't totally the same old stuff and it wasn't totally fresh but I was interested in it enough to watch the whole movie when I decided the movie was lacking pretty early.

The movie failed to get me to really care about any of the characters or empathize with anyone. By the end of it I was only kind of getting there but for a long time it was like watching strangers talk. You don't really care or not care. My favourite person in movie was a really off the wall balls hot blonde waitress who was in the middle of a dancefloor and on screen only long enough to click my fingers.

It's advertised as a Superbad-esque comedy and it really isn't. The main portion of the movie isn't jokey at all and the jokes at the start and peppered throughout the movie don't really land. I mean, I can tell where the jokes are, I can tell that they're funny (I guess), but the delivery or timing is off or something. Actually "or something" is a phrase I use a lot in thinking about this movie. Without giving anything away, the funniest joke in the movie had to do with an eye-patch.

I don't know, it was just very bleh and I didn't feel like going to the movies in the first place anyway. If there's a movie you actually want to see and it's between this and that, go with that because Adventureland is pretty skippable even though I liked the idea of it. It was one of those movies where I could see what they were trying to do, they just didn't pull it off. Basically in a nutshell: Something's off.

[ASR]

I have this friend who gets REALLY excited about all the "big" movies, and I mean REALLY excited. He has terrible taste in movies but when he latches onto something, he gets more obsessed than me. So, yeah.

I just got dragged by him to the midnight premiere of X-Mans Original: Wolferine.

Which was actually really good.

Well, I enjoyed it quite a bit.

I heard they really messed up Deadpool from how he's actually supposed to be, but I have absolutely ZERO knowledge of ANY of the events in the movie so I have no idea. Seemed okay in the movie. Mike'll probably be able to comment more on this.

But yeah, basically, I was pleasantly surprised and really enjoyed it.

[Johncarllos]

IT'S OUT?!

[preventerWIND]

I heard they really messed up Deadpool from how he's actually supposed to be, but I have absolutely ZERO knowledge of ANY of the events in the movie so I have no idea. Seemed okay in the movie. Mike'll probably be able to comment more on this.

Or WIND.
I could compare Deadpool in this movie to the DragonBall:Evolution. That's how far they jammed their ##### stick in Deadpool's butt.

What we were expecting:


What we got:

(the symbols on his body roughly translate to "THIS MOVIE BLOWS")

Now, in the heat of all this retardation, I can only muster up one thought..

"WAT"

[Johncarllos]

Uuuhhhhh, so it's not worth seeing?

[ASR]

It was pretty good, and Deadpool is only near the end of the movie. Plus, if you have no idea who he is, then you don't really have any idea that they messed him up. I never would've known if I hadn't read about how wrong they got him a while ago. The movie was still a good addition to the Marvel movieverse.

[Johncarllos]

Will see tomorrow with GF then.

[preventerWIND]

This movie has already been pretty much spoiled for me, I'd still watch it but I'm hesitant to actually go. It's gonna be screwey but I can't fully judge it on that..

[ASR]

It's not like there's much to spoil. You pretty much already know how it's going to end anyway.

Movies like this are weird because you know that anyone in the later X-Men movies is never in any real mortal danger at any time. And on top of that, Wolverine and Sabretooth can both #####ing heal from anything.

I just think it's interesting that (extremely minor spoiler):
[spoiler]they devoted screentime to things such as Wolverine flatlining after they infuse him with adamantium... as if there's a chance he won't live through it.[/spoiler]

Basically, we already know a lot of the story.

[preventerWIND]

I hear they may actually start a X-Men Origins: Deadpool. That's what I hear, not a fact.

Anyway, watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, #####ing amazing. By far one of the best movies I've seen, I was completely entertained through the entire movie. May actually have to buy the DVD.

[ASR]

The next X-Men Origins is Magneto, I believe. Could be wrong. There was supposed to be a Deadpool movie but it was scrapped - Ryan Reynolds has been fighting for it for a long time, since 2003 or something.

Anyway, THANK YOU FOR FINALLY WATCHING KISS KISS BANG BANG. It's a serious contender for my favorite movie of all time, which I currently proclaim as Shaun of the Dead. Just absolutely fantastic, hilarious, action-packed... the BEST writing I've witnessed, in my opinion, especially in the dialogue.

[preventerWIND]

Yeah, the script was so well done, and RDJ pulled it off perfectly. There was barely a moment where I wasn't laughing, the movie has everything.

Magneto sounds like a good movie, I may be more interested in that since Magneto is a wicked villain.

Also, first pic of Iron Man 2.


It's too bad Terrance Howard isn't gonna be Rhodes in this one, he's pretty dumb to pass down the chance to be War Machine for money. That doesn't make sense, It's #####in' War Machine, that ##### is so cash!

[Mikero]

I heard all about Wolverine today and I know it sucked so Alec is a liar.
I'll see it sometime anyway, but I know it sucks. I know this.

[ASR]

That's only because you care about the subject matter and it can only go downhill for you.

I had the lowest possible expectations, I didn't even want to see it, I was begging everyone to just go see Crank 2 instead even though it wasn't playing at midnight obviously. Basically, not being a big X-Men fan or anything left me with the ability to actually enjoy the movie.

I read up on Deadpool's actual character in the comics and I totally see how wrong and messed up they got him and that actually pisses me off quite a bit now that I know how cool of a character he is. Wisecracking badass who's constantly breaking the fourth wall? He'd be my favorite if I actually read comics.

I saw this panel and fell in love:


So, yeah, basically, you're going to HATE it, Mike. You too, Wind.

[Mikero]

I honestly don't care about it, but I'm aware it begins to suck in almost all ways in the last 40 minutes. This has been confirmed multiple times in multiple crowds of people who don't even know each other at all.

And they butchered Deadpool.

[Abominator]

I just don't think Deadpool was talking nearly enough, and it just seemed off that everyone was telling him to shut up all the time.

My brother didn't even know it was him that was Weapon XI.

[Vinchenz Rock]

Was forced to watch 17 Again last night.

Was surprisingly decent; I liked the nerdy references that one of the characters constantly dropped.

But other than that, it's not really worth the watch.

[preventerWIND]

Shouldn't have even mentioned that, V..

Wolverine Vs Hulk is a much better movie, Deadpool is perfect in it.

[ASR]

I've recently been downloading a huge amount of... well, you can only call bad movies. But, you know the kind, the "so-bad-they're-good" kind, the type MST3K would cover (and they've covered most of these.)

I'm going to have a bad movie marathon soon. Here's what's on the list:

- Plan 9 From Outer Space (obviously)
- The Gingerdead Man (starring GARY BUSEY)
- Santa's Slay ("Santa had to be good for 1,000 years... those 1,000 years are up.")
- The Wizard of Gore (they watched this in Juno, I believe)
- Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
- Teenagers From Outer Space
- Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (look this up on Youtube for the best line in movie history)

Last one that I have to download is Manos: Hands of Fate.

Should be a fun marathon.

[Chron]

Hahaha, MST3K did most of those, if I'm not mistaken.
Enjoy trying to watch them (Manos will be so amazingly bad that you can't stop watching, even without your robot friends).

> The Gingerdead Man (starring GARY BUSEY)

MUST SEE THIS

[ASR]

MST3K did most of those, if I'm not mistaken.

the type MST3K would cover (and they've covered most of these.)

Anyway, yeah, I'm doing this movie marathon with some friends. We'll probably split it up over a few days. Should be tons of fun. I watched the beginning of Santa's Slay, and it's spectacular. Also, Emilie De'Ravin (however you spell it, she plays Claire on Lost) is in it! Funny.

And yeah, Gingerdead Man looks #####ing amazing. Can't wait to watch that one. There's a second one (without Busey) titled "Passion of the Crust."

[Johncarllos]

Review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Worth a $5.75 Matinee.
Fun to watch.

[ASR]

Let me be the first one here to say... that Star Trek #####ing ROCKED.

That was... that was REALLY good.

The following doesn't really include any real spoilers, but, well, I'll tag 'em just to be safe because there are some things that are questionable:
[spoiler]
I love how it was a prequel, sequel, and a reboot all at the same time. Really cool. You'll understand when you see it.

I waited like half the movie just for Simon Pegg to come in and BAM. Maybe his best performance yet. Absolutely fantastic, he did an amazing job and it was worth the suspense of him not being there for, like, half the movie.[/spoiler]

For those who don't want to read the spoiler tags, basically it says that the movie was really creative and that Simon Pegg had an absolutely amazing performance.

Anyway, I just really enjoyed it and it's going to be a huge hit. You'll all love it.

Keep in mind that I only have base knowledge of Star Trek, as in, I know what pop culture has taught me. I've seen random episodes on SciFi and G4 but I've never seriously watched it. And even without being a fan, I loved this movie. So don't let that scare you.

[Chron]

I'll try not to let it.

[Majikn]

I liked it, but there were some serious plot holes. I don't get how stuff like that just gets ignored.

[Fatso]

It's Star Trek. They accept and embrace their plot holes, not patch them.

[ASR]

You really can't nitpick the plot of a Star Trek movie. I mean, okay, yeah, black holes don't send you back in time or crush you. That's understood. But YOU ALSO CAN'T BEAM PEOPLE ACROSS THE GALAXY WITH THE HELP OF SIMON PEGG.

[preventerWIND]

Gonna watch Star Trek and I Love You Man at the drive in tonight.

Hell yeah drive in!

[Johncarllos]

I LOVE THE DRIVE IN.

[preventerWIND]

LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY! LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY! LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY--TO GET OURSELVES SOME SNACKS!

[Majikn]

You really can't nitpick the plot of a Star Trek movie. I mean, okay, yeah, black holes don't send you back in time or crush you. That's understood. But YOU ALSO CAN'T BEAM PEOPLE ACROSS THE GALAXY WITH THE HELP OF SIMON PEGG.

Right, but I'm not talking about science or what is theoretically possible. I'm talking about the plot. I'm not criticizing a Star Trek movie for using Star Trek concepts, why would I do that?

[preventerWIND]

OKAY SO I WATCHED STAR TREK. #####ING AWFUL. I MEAN #####ING AWESOME.

The first 5 minutes almost got me teary eyed, the only word I can describe it with is "epic", I loved Kirk, and Simon Pegg/Scotty was the greatest hands down, I almost wish he had more parts.

I watched I Love You Man too, hilarious. Heheheh, Joebin..

[ASR]

I spell it Joben, and I say it all the time now for some reason.

But yeah, I reeeeally wish Simon Pegg had more parts. It's not fair that he came in so late, because he was seriously giving an awesome performance that demanded more screentime. To be fair, though, he did get a good handful of stuff to do, and I'm thankful for that. Definitely the showstealer.

And yeah, the guy who played Kirk was a real charmer. I liked him.

Posted on: 10 May 2009, 21:13:13

FINALLY, a new traditionally animated Disney film:

The Princess and the Frog Trailer

First black princess!

[Mikero]

Haven't seen Star Trek yet but it's pretty much the only movie I care about seeing right now. I've heard good things from people who don't really know Star Trek, and good things from people who REALLY know Star Trek. So it sounds like an A++.

Gonna watch Star Trek and I Love You Man at the drive in tonight.

Hell yeah drive in!

You're in for two treats!