Paper Cuts - The Novel [Classic MM]

[Gustaa]

Alright then, perhaps a little briefing is in order.
Later this year I'm participating in English and History Abitur exams (Final exams of High School here in Finland). I'm already having my heads full on readin the history text books and making notes, and I god damn ain't gonna start the same thing with the English grammar book!
So how does that involve writing stuff? Well, because that's how I can improve my English skills. If you'd be so kind to point out at least the worst grammatical mistakes in my text, that would help me a lot to eradicate the problems I have in English language.
Of course, would be nice of you to comment the story as well.
So anyway, I've got four chapters and a prologue already made, but I think I'll start slowly and upload only prologue today.

*****

Prologue

An Army convoy rolled through sandy Nevada deserts, leaving a large cloud of sand floating in the air behind them. The leading Humvee with tinted windows turned right, off the main road, followed by four Army trucks. Without any signs of hesitation, vehicles passed a large sign, which stated the following: “Warning – weapon testing area – unauthorized personnel will be apprehended”.

The road led to a large compound surrounded by high-voltage iron fence. Inside the fence there was a huge main building, which was a weird mixture of fortress and office complex, barracks, fighter jet hangars and a few helipads with Apache helicopters on them.

Outside the iron-fence gate, there was a small, green tent that held inside a squad of five unfortunate soldiers that were in guard post that day. Drinking soda, cracking puns and playing Texas Hold ‘Em, they were trying to survive the last three hours of their turn. As the sound of the approaching convoy grew louder, the bored squad raised their heads and looked on each other.

“Must be the supply trucks. Two hours ahead of schedule. Evans, go check their ID’s” said the officer. Youngest of the five let out a sigh of frustration when he dropped his cards and walked lazily out, leaving the comfortable shade of the tent.

Private Evans signalled the convoy to stop. The leading Humvee stopped right left to him, and the tinted window of the right front door opened a bit – suspiciously not enough to reveal the passengers but enough to allow conversation.

“Excuse me, Sir, I need to see your ID before I can let you in the compound”, Private said, raising his hand to a lazy salute. He then gave a look to the rest of the convoy and started to wonder: if his memory served, there was supposed to be only two trucks. Whirring voice of an opening window made him turn his head back to the car. Private was going to ask about the extra trucks, but the words got stuck in his uvula.

Instead of looking face to face with a strict-looking officer giving him an ID card, he was looking at nasty-looking smile of a man with crystal-decorated blue helmet – and most importantly, some sort of weapon that seemed to be an extend of his arm directed straight to the Private’s chest.

“My name is Gemini Man, and this is how I identify myself”, he said with a soft, silent voice, and the thought of warning the others did merely have time to raise it’s head in poor Private’s mind, as the weird man fired his weapon. A bright-blue laser beam emitted from the hand cannon and pierced Pirate John Evans’ chest, killing the man. Private’s body fell in the ground, the look of surprise and the realisation of his impending death stuck on his young face.

It’s 20XX.

*****
Ps. The actual chapters are gonna have more lenght.

[Majikn]

How much of this have you actually written?

[Gustaa]

The prologue and four chapters by now. 

[Slugkid]

It's pretty funny that I'm doing this since English is my second language, too, but, OK.
When it's just bold, I added a word, when it's in italics, I replaced one. If it's between []s, it's kind of  a suggestion.
[Spoiler]

[...]
Of course, it would be nice of you to comment the story as well.
So anyway, I've got four chapters and a prologue already made, but I think I'll start slowly and upload only the prologue today.
[...]

The road led to a large compound surrounded by a high-voltage iron fence. Inside the fence there was a huge main building, which was a weird mixture of a fortress and an office complex, [it had] barracks, fighter jet hangars and a few helipads with Apache helicopters on them.

Outside the iron-fence gate, there was a small, green tent that held inside a squad of five unfortunate soldiers that were in guard post that day. Drinking soda, cracking puns and playing Texas Hold ‘Em, they were trying to survive the last three hours of their turn. As the sound of the approaching convoy grew louder, the bored squad raised their heads and looked at each other.

[...]


“Excuse me, Sir, I need to see your ID before I can let you into the compound”, Private said, raising his hand to a lazy salute. He then gave a look to the rest of the convoy and started to wonder: if his memory served, there was supposed to be only two trucks. The whirring sound of an opening window made him turn his head back to the car. Private was going to ask about the extra trucks, but the words got stuck in his uvula      ^{Here it should be either The private, or private Evans, not just private}

Instead of being face to face to a strict-looking officer giving him an ID card, he was looking at nasty-looking smile of a man with a crystal-decorated blue helmet – and most importantly, some sort of weapon that seemed to be an extension of his arm directed straight at the Private’s chest.

“My name is Gemini Man, and this is how I identify myself”, he said with a soft, quiet voice, and the thought of warning the others did merely have time to raise it’s head in poor Private’s mind [I don't understand what you mean to say here... Kinda], as the weird man fired his weapon. A bright-blue laser beam emitted from the hand cannon and pierced Private John Evans’ chest, killing the man. Private’s body fell in the ground, the look of surprise and the realisation of his impending death stuck on his young face.

It’s 20XX.

*****
Ps. The actual chapters are gonna be more lenghty.

[/spoiler]
And, the story is OK. I don't dig the style, much. Kind of trying too hard.

[Majikn]

I'd say not trying hard enough. It needs serious editing, and I don't mean just grammar and spelling issues. I mean grammar and spelling certainly count, but even the most well written stories sometimes have minor errors and as long as the message has gotten across, it's often very forgivable.

You need to look at stuff like when you're describing something as a "weird mixture" of anything because it doesn't come across as very imaginative, unless you're deliberately trying to make it sound like a teenager is narrating the story (and I don't know why you would want that).
The sentence SlugKid underlined is very awkward. You could say something like "and Private Evans began to shout a warning when it was cut off as a bright blue laser beam blazed from the cannon's tip and #####ed him in the chest."

This really does look like a first draft.

[Slugkid]

When I said trying too hard, I meant the choice of words, pretty much.
Like, the description is pretty straightforward and kinda dull, but the vocabulary doesn't fit in it. I don't think I'm getting my point across, though.

And, it's not SlugKid, it's just Slugkid

[Gustaa]

Alright, those are something to call comments indeed!

I'll check the chapter one before publishing it here, and try to find and eradicate these sort of problems. This is my first time actually writing a story in English, so the "dramatic" sentence forming may feel weird as it might still be taking influences from the Finnish way of writing fiction.

Thanks dewds.

[Majikn]

And, it's not SlugKid, it's just Slugkid

Okay Snailboy.

[Fatso]

It's been ages since I last did anything like a full edit, so bear with me and keep in mind that most of what I suggest is just opinion. I'll also try to help you clean up your sentence structure a bit.

General thoughts: The whole piece definitely reads as though English is your second language. A lot of redundant words, but also a lot of missing ones. I'll try to point them out as I go.

An Army convoy rolled through sandy Nevada deserts, leaving a large cloud of sand floating in the air behind them.

This is awkward. "The convoy rolled through the Nevada desert, leaving large clouds of sand in its wake" is how I'd have written it - it communicates all the important information, it gets rid of the repeated 'sand', and it implies the action 'floating in the air' (because that's what clouds of dust do) without dragging the sentence on by explicitly mentioning it (mind you, when I'm writing posts like this I tend to drag on. Do as I say, not as I do )

The leading Humvee with tinted windows turned right, off the main road, followed by four Army trucks.

The first comma is unnecessary. As far as other edits, they'd be total nitpicks (I don't quite like how you started the sentence, but it works).

Without any signs of hesitation, vehicles passed a large sign, which stated the following: “Warning – weapon testing area – unauthorized personnel will be apprehended”. The road led to a large compound surrounded by high-voltage iron fence.

"Which stated the following" is perhaps the most passive way you could have described the sign, but there's a lot more to do with this first sentence than just that. You're missing a 'the' before 'vehicles'. I'd also redivide these sentences: the first describing the sign, the second having the convoy roll past it to the compound.

Inside the fence there was a huge main building, which was a weird mixture of fortress and office complex, barracks, fighter jet hangars and a few helipads with Apache helicopters on them.

I would carefully rethink this whole description.

Outside the iron-fence gate, there was a small, green tent that held inside a squad of five unfortunate soldiers that were in guard post that day.

You keep using "there was". It's a fine combination of words, but using it more than once or twice a page is a little excessive. Try for more active descriptions, e.g. "Outside the iron-fence gate stood a small green tent, home to a squad of five soldiers on guard duty that day." Try not to mention the soldiers are "unfortunate" until you've already revealed why - it's too heavy-handed to be effective as foreshadowing.

Drinking soda, cracking puns and playing Texas Hold ‘Em, they were trying to survive the last three hours of their turn.

This is the best sentence so far from a prose standpoint (parallelism, appropriate vocabulary, Rule of Three), but you might want to rethink the soldiers' activities, because with the exception of the puns, those are some of the least Army-like things I can think of.

As the sound of the approaching convoy grew louder, the bored squad raised their heads and looked on each other.

I'd substitute "shrugged at" or some other similar expression of disinterest for "looked on". I'd assume that in a small tent packed with five people, raising their heads is tantamount to looking at each other anyway.

“Must be the supply trucks. Two hours ahead of schedule. Evans, go check their ID’s” said the officer.

Who's the officer? I understand he's prologue cannon fodder, but you should at least indicate his rank.

Youngest of the five let out a sigh of frustration when he dropped his cards and walked lazily out, leaving the comfortable shade of the tent.

This needs restructuring, as well as a 'the' before 'youngest'.

"Private Evans, the youngest of the five, heaved a frustrated sigh as he dropped his cards, leaving the comfortable shade of the tent." But honestly, I'd drop the whole 'youngest of the five' bit entirely. It's going to stop mattering pretty soon anyway.

The leading Humvee stopped right left to him

This is confusing on first glance. Replace "right left to" with "just left of" for clarity. Also, whose left? You should clarify that.

and the tinted window of the right front door opened a bit

Okay, so it was the driver's left, but you should explicitly mention that to avoid head-scratching on the part of the readers.

“Excuse me, Sir, I need to see your ID before I can let you in the compound”, Private said, raising his hand to a lazy salute.

Is his first name Private? I'm sorry to hear that - he must have been the butt of all the jokes in school. Also, "into" rather than "in".

He then gave a look to the rest of the convoy and started to wonder: if his memory served, there was supposed to be only two trucks.

"Looking to the rest of the convoy, he began to wonder: weren't there supposed to be only two trucks?"

Whirring voice of an opening window made him turn his head back to the car. Private was going to ask about the extra trucks, but the words got stuck in his uvula.

"The whir" is better than "whirring voice" in this case.

Instead of looking face to face with a strict-looking officer giving him an ID card, he was looking at nasty-looking smile of a man with crystal-decorated blue helmet – and most importantly, some sort of weapon that seemed to be an extend of his arm directed straight to the Private’s chest.

"the" before "nasty-looking".  "a" before "crystal-decorated". "extension" rather than "extend". "at" rather than "to" the Private's chest, but that one is more nitpicky than the other ones.

“My name is Gemini Man, and this is how I identify myself”, he said with a soft, silent voice

A voice can be soft or silent. It can't be both, since silence is the absence of sound.

and the thought of warning the others did merely have time to raise it’s head in poor Private’s mind, as the weird man fired his weapon.

"and the thought of warning the others barely came before the weird man fired his weapon."

A bright-blue laser beam emitted from the hand cannon and pierced Pirate John Evans’ chest, killing the man.

Oh sweet, he was a pirate too? Is there some sort of massive pirate-vs.-robot ultimate showdown later on? This is something that needs further exploration!

Also "Emerged", not emitted. The cannon emits the beam. The beam emerges from the cannon.

Private’s body fell in the ground, the look of surprise and the realisation of his impending death stuck on his young face.

"The private fell to the ground"

It’s 20XX.

You don't need to mention this.

Ps. The actual chapters are gonna have more lenght.

If so, then I'm not going to have time to go through them in detail like this one, but I'll still read them through and post my thoughts.

[White Shadow]

At least I didn't read a single "cerulean orbs" for "blue eyes".

[Gustaa]

Thanks for the comments! They really helped a lot.

A voice can be soft or silent. It can't be both, since silence is the absence of sound.

Can't the word "silent" mean both completely soundless and quiet sound? If not, I've been wrong since I started studying English at the age of 9.   

And that 20XX in the end was something that I thought to belong to the prologue, as we are talking about Megaman fic here. 

Anyway, I read through the chapter one and made a few changes in sentence structures and prepositions. Also, I changed the names of the Robot Masters from the "Mega Man" form to the "Megaman" form.
*****
CHAPTER 1
Robots in Arms

At the very moment when Private Evans’s body hit the sandy ground things started to escalate rapidly. The four trucks of the convoy broke off the formation and lined up on both sides of the jeep. Before they had even come to full stop, green robotic soldiers started to jump out of them. The robots were carrying a large shield on their left hands, while their right ones were replaced by arm cannons similar to one that had just killed Private Evans. A single robot of the same type also jumped to sight from inside of the Humvee and mounted the .50 cal machine gun on the vehicle roof.

Screeching brakes alarmed the remaining guards around the poker table. They rushed outside, switching off safeties of their assault rifles. Before they could even comprehend the gravity of the situation, the robot soldier on the Humvee .50 cal opened fire. Guards running out of the tent in a row made it look like a target practise at a shooting range. One two-second sweep of the weapon, and the whole squad was down with a cloud of dust mercifully censoring the bloody mess of their bodies shot to Swiss cheese.

Couple of robot soldiers rushed to the side of the car and fired a few well-aimed plasma shots from their arm cannons to the edges of iron-fence gate. High voltage fence wavered and sparkled as the blue bursts of plasma hit it. At the same time the alarm was raised and the Humvee’s tires screeched against the asphalt as it accelerated towards the gate. There was a series of loud bangs and another screech, as the Humvee crashed down the gate and stopped at the compound yard. Fifty cal on its roof moved from side to another to aim at the surprised people running around the yard, looking for cover.

From the crashed gate the foot soldier robots marched in, overwhelming any of the compound personnel on the yard and seizing their access to the hangars and helipads. After that was done, invading robots moved into formation for storming the compound interiors. The Humvee’s front doors opened. From the driver’s side of the car, a yellow and white coloured man stepped out. If anyone of the compound personnel would have had time to get a better look at him, they would have no doubt wondered his appearance – not only because of the orange colour of his head but also because of the scissor blades on the top of his head. He looked a little aghast of their brutal advance.

“Looks like the luck is on our side this time, Mr. Cutman.” said the crystal-helmeted man, a slight trail of smoke still following his blood-stained arm cannon. With a vicious, victorious smile on his face, he gave an arrogant look at the results of their first strike. Cutman glanced at his partner with a slight disgust for such an excitement and joy caused by this brutal bloodshed.

“It’s not over yet, Geminiman. The facility is huge and they are getting ready for us even as we speak. And who knows how much reinforcements could be on their way?” Cutman said.

“These pathetic humans are no match for the Sniper Joes, we’ll have the facility clear in a minute and we’ll be able to get the hell out of dodge long before any of their reinforcements have time to arrive.” Geminiman replied.

“Maybe,” Cutman said, “but the risks are too big, especially when considering what kind of orders we were given. ‘Get in, steal everything that isn’t nailed down and get back.’ And there’s no much doubt about who’s he going to blame if we fail.”

“True. Doctor Wily is not fit to lead such an army he possesses. Under his command, we are not going to achieve the total domination over mankind.” Geminiman said, his smile fading. His words made Cutman, who criticized Wily for different reasons, feel uncomfortable. Much to his relief, Geminiman dropped the subject as the robot soldiers – Sniper Joes – got ready for storming the facility. Geminiman nodded and one of the Joes planted an explosive charge to the blast door covering the main entrance.

Directed, bright explosion tore a hole into three-inch door with a loud, crumbling noise. Shields extended, the first Sniper Joes stepped over the pieces of blast door and through the smoke. At the very instant, loud rat-at-at-voices of four assault rifles echoed from the narrow corridors, followed by loud BANG of a detonating hand grenade. Mangled body of one of the Sniper Joes that had entered the facility was thrown back by the force of the explosion. Cutman’s face turned into a grimace of shock and hesitation, but Geminiman didn’t show any signs of setback or compassion.

“Overpower them! Advance at all costs!” he yelled, and the Sniper Joes rushed in again. Gunfire and explosions started their ear-hurting concert again, and soon they were joined by the sound of plasma cannons and screams of pain.

“We could cut our losses right here and just demand their immediate surrender, they are heavily outnumbered.” Cutman proposed with a slight prudence clouding his voice. Geminiman didn’t even turn his head from the front door to thwart this suggestion.

“No. If we start gathering them up and disarming them, it’s going to take too long. This way it’s much faster and easier…” he said, turning to Cutman with a maniacal look on his face, “…and much more enjoyable.” A long, miserable scream of pain echoed out the building and raised Geminiman’s evil smile even more.

“They have gotten through the first corridor. Come, Mr. Cutman!” he said to his reluctant partner. They followed the Joes through the hole in the blast door. Six or seven Sniper Joes had fallen in order to beat the first defenders. It’s hard to say were there six or seven, because one or two of them were blown into uncountable pieces.

Four US Army soldiers were also lying on the floor as a result of the first gunfight. Three of them were definitely dead and the fourth one was trying to crawl towards the front door with a growing puddle of blood beneath him. When seeing Cutman’s robotic boots in front of him, he lifted the pale, bloody face and looked at the robots with a silent call for help.

“There’s a medical kit in the back of the car, I could-“ Cutman started, but Geminiman didn’t bother to let him finish. He just raised his arm cannon and fired for the second time, and the bright blue laser hit the wounded soldier’s side. Man was thrown against a wall, and a long dying breath wheezed out of his mouth. Cutman looked furiously at Geminiman.

“That was unnecessary! That man was of no risk to us anymore!” he protested. Geminiman didn’t note his fury at all; he just looked towards another hallway where the sounds of battle began to rage again.

“I’m going to make sure these humans will fall. Are you coming or not?” he asked bluntly. Cutman shook his head.

“You know I can’t.” he said. Geminiman gave a mocking smile.

“Oh right… Because you’ve started to feel compassion for these pitiful life forms, or because of the cold fact of your weaknesses?” he asked. Cutman did not answer; it was not the first and not likely to be the last time when Geminiman had pointed out Cut’s “weakness”. As he was originally built by Dr. Wily’s rival, Dr. Light, as a part of an industrial robot series, deep in his programming there was a code that prevented him from intentionally harming humans. Though, Cutman thought silently, he didn’t know whether or not to call it a weakness. Right now he wouldn’t have wanted to be anything that Geminiman was.

“Go wait in the car”, Geminiman said, and activated his special power; he started to glow so brightly it was hard to look at him, and then it stopped as quickly as it had started. Now there was two Geminimen, identical from toes to malicious grin.

“Yeah, you heard the man”, said the twin, and the two ran towards the battle, laughing like two schoolboys who had just made a practical joke on the teacher. Cutman rolled his eyes, sighing as he walked out of the facility, trying not to look at the dead bodies on his way.

The engagement began three minutes ago. They had estimated that humans would have reinforcements in half an hour. Estimated. Another flaw in the plan. According to the plan, they were to escape through the teleporter at the back of one of the trucks before the human reinforcements could arrive. But what if, Cutman thought, what if the teleport truck would be destroyed before that? What if we can’t seize the compound in time? What if the reinforcements would get here sooner?

Cutman stopped his thoughts as he noticed they were the same things he had said out loud when receiving the mission from Dr. Wily. Yet his concerns had a same effect regardless did he say them out loud or just repeated them in his head. He kicked a tire of the Humvee in frustration. Wily had become even more paranoiac and deaf to anyone else’s thoughts than his own. And to his Robot Master underlings, especially to a weak industrial robot built by his rival, he was a huge pain in the-

He lost the thought pattern as the black dot in the sky he had thought to be a bird got closer. Cutman grabbed binoculars from the jeep dashboard and began to pinpoint the unidentified flying object through them.

Cutman gasped as he found it; he was looking at a man in blue outfit, flying a red robot dog with small jet engines on its hind legs. The man also had a blue helmet and he also had a plasma cannon replacing his left hand.

Megaman was coming.

[Mikero]

And, it's not SlugKid, it's just Slugkid

Okay Snailboy.

Yeah. It's whatever the ##### we say, ROOK.
(I'm kidding.)

Megaman was coming.

Ha.

dewds.

Ha HA!

[AlexThePenguin]

The leading Humvee with tinted windows turned right, off the main road, followed by four Army trucks.

The first comma is unnecessary. As far as other edits, they'd be total nitpicks (I don't quite like how you started the sentence, but it works).

Actually, the comma works better there, as otherwise it's "right off the main road" as in "directly off the main road" rather than the directional right.

>_>

[Fatso]

Can't the word "silent" mean both completely soundless and quiet sound? If not, I've been wrong since I started studying English at the age of 9.

I don't know about other people, but I would never say 'silent' when I mean 'quiet'. In general, it's best to make sure you're saying what you mean BEFORE you start to dress up the prose.

Actually, the comma works better there, as otherwise it's "right off the main road" as in "directly off the main road" rather than the directional right.

I thought that one over for a few minutes when making the original post, then decided that I would read it just as easily without the comma. Besides, the direction the trucks turn off doesn't really matter in this case, so even the incorrect reading would make plenty of sense.

[Slugkid]

And, it's not SlugKid, it's just Slugkid

Okay Snailboy.

Yeah. It's whatever the ##### we say, ROOK.
(I'm kidding.)

(I know).

I remember that back on the old board I used to call you Mike-ero on my mind. And then somebody said something like micro Mikero and it was a pun and you corrected me.

And now Mike-ero sounds so gay.

Fun times.

[Gustaa]

Third chapter.
*****
Chapter 2
Reinforcements

For a brief moment, Cutman wondered what to do. Megaman meant menace, that was for sure. However, they had a clear advantage in numbers. A grief for appreciation from his fellow robots or Doctor Wily himself battled with the urge to surrender right away. Finally he decided to fight for it, and sprinted inside the facility again.

He followed the blood-stained corridors filled with bodies of both the human defenders and the assaulting Sniper Joes, and found the Geminiman twins from the middle of Sniper Joe swarm, planting an explosive charge to another blast door.

“He… he’s… the Blue Bomber is coming!” Cutman panted, nodding towards the way he had come. Sniper Joes looked bewildered and both of the Geminimen raised their heads to look at Cutman.

“Megaman will be here in a minute!” Cutman nearly yelled.

“Run for your lives!” one of the Sniper Joes shouted out loud, causing restless movements within the group. Geminiman smacked the panicked robot.

“Five of you Joes stay here, make sure the humans won’t try anything funny!” the other Geminiman ordered and ran outside, getting the rest of the crew follow him.

“He was right there, coming straight at us!” Cutman said, pointing to the sky. Geminimen looked around, and the Sniper Joes looked aghast.

“Hope this isn’t any of your jokes, Mr. Cutman, or I’m going to rip off your –“ Geminiman said, but was interrupted at once. On his robot dog, Megaman flew from behind the hangars, blasting his arm cannon as he flied low over them. Three of the Sniper Joes took hit, and many of them started to run for cover.

“Get back here! Anti-air formations! There’s just one of him, we can kick his-“ Geminiman twin yelled, but was once again interrupted as a charged plasma cannon shot hit him in the neck. Nanite blood spilled pretty much everywhere as his neck ripped apart and the head spun across the yard and fell to the feet of the original Geminiman.

“Yeah, and now there is only one of you as well!” they heard Megaman yelling with a burst of laughter as he flied by.

“That’s it, Megaman!” he shouted, firing a few beams of laser after him. Sniper Joes moved into formations of three, where one was shooting at the flying target and two were protecting him with their shields. Soon the yard was full of high-pitched sounds of arm cannons.

Cutman looked at the far away target, and saw that Megaman was far out of range of his scissor blades. As he looked at the others, frustrated, he remembered the fifty cal on the Humvee. He sprinted towards the jeep and climbed on the roof and dropped himself to the gunner’s seat. He rotated the weapon towards the flying menace, as something happened so fast he didn’t have a clue what was it.

Something red and grey flashed in front of him and grabbed the machine gun on its way. The momentum of the move rotated the weapon so fast, that Cutman, who was still holding tightly on its grips, was pulled out of the gun nest and thrown many feet away from the jeep. The red flash – now revealed to be a robot with similarity to Megaman, though he was of different colour– used the movement of the gun to slingshot himself in the air and land in the gunner’s nest with incredible speed and accuracy.

Cutman was too confused by the sudden attack to yell out the warning, as the newcomer aimed the .50 cal towards the Sniper Joes that were trying to shoot Megaman down. Loud gunfire locked Cutman’s ears for a second, as the point fifty calibre machine gun started to – pretty literally – rip apart the poor Sniper Joes. Geminiman turned his head towards the vehicle, and his eyes enlarged from surprise. He overcame the setback remarkably quickly and aimed at the gunner – just to get a blast of Megaman’s plasma cannon to his low back. He fell down on the bloody ground.

Cutman stumbled up to his feet, snatched his Rolling Cutters from the top of his head and threw them like a boomerang. The blades zoomed through the air and cut the machine gun in half. Red-grey robot didn’t expect this, as he fell inside the gunner’s nest, still holding the rear end of the weapon.

“Get the wounded and fall back to the teleporter! Go! Go! Go!” Cutman yelled, grabbing his Cutters as they swung back to him. Sniper Joes gladly obeyed the command and ran wildly towards the truck in which the teleporter was hidden. Two of them were carrying Geminiman, barely conscious and swearing, and many of them were helping their injured comrades, as Megaman flied above them, shooting volleys of plasma charges in their midst.

All of a sudden, from the front door of the facility, a squad of US Army soldiers, shouting from anger and thirst of vengeance over their fallen friends, stepped out, their assault rifles firing. Cutman saw Sniper Joes falling, either by the hand of Megaman, human soldiers or the red-grey robot that had gotten out of the Humvee and was now shooting with his arm cannon as well.

This battle was lost, Cutman thought, and decided to run for it. But before he could take a step, he took hit in the leg from one of the compound soldiers. Letting out every single swear word he could remember, he fell on his face to the hard ground as the pain stroke like a lightning. A nearby Sniper Joe helped him on his uninjured feet and together they limbed towards the truck, where the panicked Joes were trying to save themselves.

“Thank you”, Cutman said, breathing heavily. Sniper Joe gave a quick, surprised look at him with its only, large red eye. Such words as “thank you” or “well done” were rarely said to these drones only used to kill, Cutman thought.

A long burst from the assault rifle hit the helping Joe in the back. Bullets hit the metal back, bursting sparkles as they pierced it. Lifeless body fell forward in the midst of a step, and Cutman was also thrown forwards. He hit the back of the truck and was forced down to the ground by the pain in his leg. Another, even longer rifle burst was fired, and the five Sniper Joes in the back of the truck, rushing towards the teleporter, sparkled in the bullet storm and fell on each other.

“Cease fire, cease fire!” Cutman, who didn’t dare to move, heard Megaman yelling. Assault rifles went silent, and all of a sudden it was so quiet it sounded awful after the horrible racket of battle.

“Thank god it’s over.” one of the humans said in a thick voice.

“Another battle may be over, but the war is still far from it.” the grey-red robot said.

“Damn robots should’ve never been invented.” said another human.

“Watch it, buddy.” said the grey-red robot again.

“Take it easy, Protoman.” Megaman said, and Cutman flinched when he spoke, because his voice was coming from very near. In fact, he felt that Megaman was bending towards him. He tried to hold his breath, but-
   
“Good evening, Cutman.” Megaman said with amused tone.

[Mikero]

There's something about "cracking puns" that bothers me. You just don't really sit around "cracking" puns. You can crack jokes, but it is extremely rare for a pun session to happen.

Can't the word "silent" mean both completely soundless and quiet sound? If not, I've been wrong since I started studying English at the age of 9.

I don't know about other people, but I would never say 'silent' when I mean 'quiet'. In general, it's best to make sure you're saying what you mean BEFORE you start to dress up the prose.

Yes. "Silent" means without any accompanying sound at all. It's best to keep it simple and just use soft the way it is.

Actually, the comma works better there, as otherwise it's "right off the main road" as in "directly off the main road" rather than the directional right.

I thought that one over for a few minutes when making the original post, then decided that I would read it just as easily without the comma. Besides, the direction the trucks turn off doesn't really matter in this case, so even the incorrect reading would make plenty of sense.

I'm with Opal on thissun, sorry. While the direction of the vehicle doesn't truly matter here, the intent of the sentence does. "Right off the main road" makes the whole action sound faster and more perilous than it should.

And, it's not SlugKid, it's just Slugkid

Okay Snailboy.

Yeah. It's whatever the ##### we say, ROOK.
(I'm kidding.)

(I know).

I remember that back on the old board I used to call you Mike-ero on my mind. And then somebody said something like micro Mikero and it was a pun and you corrected me.

And now Mike-ero sounds so gay.

Fun times.

We have fun!