Matricians, What Have You Become?

[Orange Devil]

It's been awhile. What are you?

I'm a Middle School Art Teacher Dad Game Designer (Beasts and Basements) Recently Queer Autistic Bubble Wizard Woodworking Marionette Puppeteer Piano Player Hoper Dreamer Magic-Bean-Buyer. Oh and half gnomish on my mother's side.

Oh, and I look like this.

[Johncarllos]

I'm a married carpenter and ironman triathlon competitor. Also computer building enthusiast and gamer. Also avid manga reader. Also D&D player and dungeon master. Audiobook and podcast aficionado.

[Orange Devil]

Look at how long my legs got!

[Johncarllos]

Look at how long my legs got!

They're very impressive. And maybe a little... sexy...

[Winged Warrior]

Okay, ####.  What HAVE I become?

Ever always the late bloomer, I'm a senior in my undergraduate program, working towards my Master's in Clinical Mental Health. My focus has been, like, the intersection between minority stress, LGBTQ identities, and trauma.  It's some interesting stuff honestly... in that morbid kinda way anyways.

Outside of that, I've been doing the work as an english tutor, I'm getting into volonteer work as a counselor (which is manditory to my degree program RIP), and doing occasional public speaking gigs (they're small time, nonrecorded stuff.  sorry).

That's the nutshell I guess?  I'm still very much a work in progress, but such is fate when you don't really accept yourself until you're thirty.

[Majikn]

I have become an alcoholic basically. I drink 4 out of seven nights.

I'm a senior in college. I have a 3.89 GPA. All my teachers love me. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, I want to marry her some day soon. I'm the president of my University's outdoors club and am a model student. Figured I'd drop you guys an update.

I also watch a lot of porn.

...

Sorry.
That post by John from like 11 years ago is among many many things you guys have said over the years that will forever live in my head.

Reading through some of the threads on here is often like opening up any of my old favourite books.

But me?
I've made some improvements.
I spent a good long chunk of my life afraid and depressed, but somewhere in the past ten years I've found a niche for myself in the working world and have had many passion projects that have turned into useful tools for my team. I'm not really a programmer and I might never write a story or make a video game or do something creative like I really deeply wanted to earlier on, but I haven't let go of that either and as I'm living I try to just enjoy life and experience cool #####. As I work at my job I've been developing my skills in leadership and in figuring out smart solutions to really stupid problems. I'm a work in progress and I've pretty much accepted that I'll always feel like a work on progress. People tell me I'm hard on myself and in some ways I probably am but in other ways I feel like a #####heel who doesn't contribute enough.

I'm going on 34 in December and I have a wife. Common law because our plans for even a small wedding folded when several employment mishaps screwed her out of a vacation. We don't have and don't plan on having kids.

I also enjoy making people laugh or at least trying to. Will never apologize for trying even if my jokes are dry or silly or dumb, but I feel like either I've gotten better at it over the years or people have decided to humour me. I've been told by multiple different people that I'm their favourite manager, which I'm sure is a total coincidence.

[Johncarllos]

I also enjoy making people laugh or at least trying to.

Does that also apply to cringe? My god how can you live with that ##### I said 11 years ago in your head.

I'm still very much a work in progress, but such is fate when you don't really accept yourself until you're thirty.

I'm a work in progress and I've pretty much accepted that I'll always feel like a work on progress. People tell me I'm hard on myself and in some ways I probably am but in other ways I feel like a #####heel who doesn't contribute enough.

If y'all can believe it, between my battles with weight/obesity, alcohol, actual (not my perpetually faked) self confidence, and too many others to list, I am also a work in progress.

[Majikn]

Because I don't cringe at it at all.

Perhaps I should, but I've seen you as a cool person since at least like 2009 or so, and cool people get away with posting cringey things sometimes, I think.

A lot of things people from here have said over the years have made me laugh or smile.

[Johncarllos]

but I've seen you as a cool person since at least like 2009 or so,

[TheRedPriest]

I'm just as bitter as I was 25, now I'm just 20 years older.  I peaked early.  Now I just improve like wine.

[MOX]

Hey guys I'm not sure if anyone remembers me—I haven't been here since I left for college in 2012; I'd like to apologize for being inactive in this community for so long. I know some of you keep in touch on Facebook but I haven't been on social media for years for the sake of my mental health. Despite being gone for so long, it feels like I was posting on this blue checkered forum just yesterday.

But you Matricians were basically my only friends in high school, I was a pretty awkward and sheltered kid haha. A lot has happened in the past 11 years I've been gone but I'll try to keep it as succinct as possible:

-I'm 31 now.

-I graduated in 2015 with a BFA in Graphic Design and was working as a graphic designer at a corporate company for 6 years. I got laid off in October last year—honestly I've been kind of burned out working there as the majority of work was just production work. I feel like I lost all my creativity. In 2015 I got into a new hobby (Olympic Weightlifting) which to this day takes all of my time outside of work, and I just didn't have the time or energy to do art/design for fun. I didn't even have time or energy to play video games since 2015. I do hope I can qualify for nationals in Weightlifting before I turn 40, as long as my body doesn't fall apart before then haha. My addiction for Olympic Weightlifting has replaced my addiction for video games and all other forms of entertainment. I joke it's like heroin—it's not good for my body or social life but I can't stop doing it. I swear I've gone from being a nerd to now being a meathead nerd.

-I dated a girl for 5 years. I thought we were going to be married but it didn't work out and I moved back with my parents. One of my regrets was only spending time with my girlfriend and not keeping in touch with my friends during this time as I basically lost all contact with them.

-I am just laughing my ass off reading all the old posts and comments here. I am in awe of how witty and hilarious we were as kids. There's also some serious cringe i've posted though but I was a edgy little turd.

-I am in awe of how creative and talented you Matricians were and are now. I really enjoyed seeing how much Mike, Snare, WW, ASR  (there's more people I'm forgetting, forgive me if I didn't include) progressed in their creative pursuits over the years.

-I want to get my creativity back and enjoyment in creating things like I used to be when I posted artwork here in high school/college. I'm trying to switch careers to UX design and get my portfolio done but I've been having trouble with focus/motivation. I got diagnosed with ADHD recently and hope that taking stimulant medication will help me get my portfolio done and be productive.

I'm also with you Majikn and WW on being a "late bloomer" and "work in progress". Seems like everyone my age is ahead career wise and is having kids already haha. But I'm glad to be posting here again and will try to post here more regularly. I'm also sincerely happy to see everyone I've known over the years grow up and be healthy.

[TheRedPriest]

I believe I remember a MOX.  Glad to see you turned out ok!  Or as ok as anyone who is into Mega Man can turn out.

[MOX]

I remember you Rez! Glad to see you're doing good too.

I had to have been around 12-13 years old when I first joined mBoard, which means I'm probably now older (or same age?) than you were back then—crazy.

Thanks for being a responsible adult figure in my childhood. I vividly remember you saying the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion was trash and was only good for hentai.

[Speed Racer]

I vividly remember you saying the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion was trash and was only good for hentai.

To be fair, there isn't an anime he hasn't said that about yet.

[TheRedPriest]

I wouldn't want to lie.

[Majikn]

I definitely remember you MOX, mainly for your art and sprite work, which I always thought was really cool.

Sorry that corporate graphic design burned you out. You can always post your cool art here!

I cringe at a few of my old posts but I really don't feel that same way about things other people posted most of the time, and I don't remember you posting anything that I thought would be embarrassing, for what that's worth.

[Mikero]

This is a really cool thread, I've enjoyed reading your stories. MMM is a very unique part of my personality and I believe that is crystallized and indelible. Nothing could give the feeling of this place and those times again, it's functionally impossible. So keeping up with you folks and seeing you all grow is still something I'm invested in.

You all keep being surprised that others here respect you and I think that's more sweet than sad. I very much enjoy what I perceive as Majikn being real with their opinions, I have always thought Majikn was cool for that. I have always understood and liked John's "perpetually faked" self-confidence. And of course I remember you MOX and I understand not bothering with social media--I've pretty much abandoned it too.

I was probably 13 when I started coming here? I'm gonna be 37 (in a row) in August... That's wild.

As for "what have I become?" Well I'll get this out of the way off rip I, like every other human, am also a work in progress.

-Work:
Currently I work in television animation;  I've been an animator, the head of scene planning, and a character builds and rigging artist.

Right now I'm kind of doing two jobs in animation--The industry is in a terrible and historic dry spell so I'm fortunate that I'm multi-skilled. Character builds and rigging artist is my actual main gig under normal circumstances, but I'm currently helping out the department I used to be in charge of (scene planning). Basically without over-explaining how the whole pipeline works, I draw TV cartoons for Disney, Netflix, etc. which is kind of wild if you remember that I got into doing a lot of that stuff VIA this board.

The industry though really breaks you down, like what MOX was talking about. I've been pretty burned out for years, excited to get some vacation time at the end of July.

-Life:
In my personal life I'm engaged (still) and became a father just over a year ago. Covid ruined a lot of possible wedding planning and then we didn't really want to spend ten bands on a party when we knew we wanted to have a kid very soon. And our daughter is amazing.

I'm really into power lifting and fitness in general. I'm trying out hypertrophy stuff right now but strength training is more my thing. I'm pretty strong but always trying to improve. Still super into basketball.

I still play games but not nearly as much obviously. Time is at a huge premium and I do waste too much on games I'm not even totally enjoying at the moment. I play D&D every couple weeks and actually that's been amazing for reigniting my creativity to do personal work--something like that could help you out MOX.

-Other:
I've gotten more involved in some social issues. It's never been good but the past few years have been really rough on my own groups and the identities of people close to me. Specifically I'm mixed-raced so I've been trying to do some Black-centric stuff around the animation industry but not really enough. It's something I'm passionate about so I'd like to try more of that again. I'm also more recently having a hard time with the way short men are treated in North American societies, if you wanna go down a rabbit hole it's really bad and basically encouraged.

Trying to get better with my own self-esteem/depression issues. I luckily don't have to deal with anxiety, but I also hang with a lot of different age groups and the crew I see most often is between 5-10 years younger than me--which is actually nerve racking at times.

That all sounds bad but I actually feel great in general, I just wanted to put the reality out there of what's also going on in the back of my mind since you all were so open with your posts yourselves.

[Johncarllos]

This is a really cool thread, I've enjoyed reading your stories. MMM is a very unique part of my personality and I believe that is crystallized and indelible. Nothing could give the feeling of this place and those times again, it's functionally impossible. So keeping up with you folks and seeing you all grow is still something I'm invested in.

I don't think it could be put any better. This place is always going to be a part of me and every time I load my browser it's one of the sites I check. I get a deep spark of excitement when I see new content here.

I love this board, this community, and you, whoever reads this. but like you know in that like that comradery way probably

[TheRedPriest]

It really is  nice to see folks here still.  It'd be nice to see more return from time to time.

[AlexThePenguin]

I'm living my childhood dream, in a manner of speaking.

I'm a preschool teacher, right now I work with tots around 2 years old. I'm on a very reduced schedule because of disabilities, but my boss is amazing and makes sure I have a schedule and tasks I'm comfortable in. I can safely present as nonbinary both in my personal life and at work, which feels good, too.

Coming to terms with the actual scope of my disabilities has been a very interesting road, but my ability to advocate and fill out legal documents is unparalleled now, lol. Most of them are familiar, but these last four years have been a doozy when it comes to medical things, especially when basically long covid limited my ability to eat a giant swath of food. That aspect is getting better, at least, and the other components are being discovered and addressed, even the ones that were secretly there my whole life.

I've got an amazing partner, who has been absolutely wonderful through all of the last four years of discovery.

Ghostkiddo is on the brink of teenhood now, and it's been so weird adjusting to any of that. They aspire to join me in working at the center I work at in a couple of years. My family keeps telling me it's fun to see me raising a child who is essentially my clone in personality, and I have feelings about that.

I guess that's really all of it. Life is simultaneously simple and complex, as always, but I'm enjoying it for the most part in spite of everything

[TheRedPriest]

Sounds like things are going well for you Alex! 

[Johncarllos]

Sounds like things are going well for you Alex! 

Living your dream, kind of jealous.

[Speed Racer]

I keep trying to type something out for this and half of the time I stare at a blank textbox unsure of what to say, and the half I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to add, as I already post plenty about my life here.

I don't know if that's the depression talking.

I ended up married, with two kids and a dog. I got to present at pop culture conferences twice and got published once, which academically are my proudest achievements. I had to leave academia behind. The culture is too toxic, the pay too crappy, and I just didn't have the time anymore. Adding children to your life will do that. I've got a list of research paper ideas that will never see the light of day.

My kids, sappy as it may be, are the actual joy in my life. They're smart, curious, weird, and very much their own people. I see myself in them a lot and I try to guide them on a path to prevent the same mistakes I did. They know they are loved and have parents that accept them for who they are (except when they say they're rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles), and they're just great kids. My oldest loves the Jurassic Park/World and Star Wars movies, Minecraft, and sneaking kung fu movies with me. My youngest loves stuffed animals, Battle Kitty (some interactive Netflix show), and wearing whatever they damn well please. They're both brave kids, and I hope they always know how much their dad loves them.

I've been married for ten years with plenty of ups and downs, but my wife is awesome and we're still very much in love. We balance each other out with our parenting styles and stuff we take care of around the house, and despite constant money issues, we feel like we're doing pretty well. She's got a job interview tomorrow for a library director position, so if you're reading this, send some good vibes please.

I'm going to bed now. I might write more another day.

[TheRedPriest]

I am still single, bitter, and alone!  Just have a little less hair.  Otherwise life is surprisingly similar to when I joined these checkered halls.

[Snare]

I'm an agoraphobic shut in with autistic qualities but I'm also still very cute and handsome. Seriously, I make it sound like a joke but humor is obviously how I deal with everything.

I'm currently just working part time at a flower/plant shop. There's a lot I do like about it but at the same time, I'm definitely not being paid what I'm worth or rewarded much for my knowledge and skills. Working with clients who are mostly plant beginners is draining lol. I also sell handmade crafts on the side, I'm slowly expanding that as a business.

I have a sore stomach atm

[saldite]

Don't know if anyone remembers me at all in any positive light, but it's wild to me how much of this place sticks in my brain despite only really being active here for about a year. I joined here around 2008 when I finally had internet in my area off of some fun memories of MChat when I lived at my uncle's house around 2001 or 2002-ish? Everything I posted here was awful and was basically an attempt to be accepted, liked, and "cool" or whatever despite how lame I was, and I was often appropriately called out for how stupid I was acting much to my own embarrassment at the time (which in the long run was probably good for me).

It's now 16 years later, but I feel a lot more comfortable in my lameness (in a good way). Somehow managed to graduate from a decent university in my area, making a lot of good friends there, and spent a while of my life after graduation jobless or as a janitor before finally landing a job as a sysadmin, which is where I've been at for the last seven years or so.

Personally, struggled with a lot of mental health ##### most of my life along with major weight issues which, after a serious, serious health scare a couple years back, I'm now finally somewhat getting on track with, being about 60lbs lighter than I was last year with a lot more to go, but the important thing is that I seem to be keeping what I lose off.

I definitely relate to a lot of the stuff in here about being a work in progress. Feels like everyone I knew from high school or college has some extremely successful career or marriages, but I'm just now working through ##### everyone else did when they were 18 or 19. There's a lot of times where I don't really feel like an adult until I do something where it's like, "Oh, yeah, I guess I am a semi-competent individual."

Ultimately, I don't really think you ever stop being "a work in progress". There's always something to do or improve on, and in many ways, I think a large part of my own progress was learning to be comfortable with myself in the right ways, which in turn kicked off me trying to improve myself in others. Hopefully I can keep the weight going down and keep progressing in my career.

Otherwise, I'm still just a turbonerd who likes video games and other #####.