"EGG" - A new Matrician birth story

[preventerWIND]

Recently I received and Egg for Christmas, as I stated earlier in the Christmas topic. At first I did not understand.. and was all like "WTF MATE?" But now I see that this is a very special egg, an egg that grows, and soon becomes a living breathing (not rly) being. and then I was all like "lolk"

And then I decided, I would like to share this glorious event with you all. A birth story if you will, each day or so, I will update photos of the growing being in the egg. Truly, this will be a birth of a wonderous being in the MMM community. So without further ado. I present the first few photos of, EGG.



:There it is, at first this egg confused and angered me. I was all like wtf.


:As soon as I found out it grows, I began to panic, assuring it would grow comfortably. I thought it would need a name as well, so I named it EGG. The flash has been turned off, to ensure better visualization.


:The directions on the box instructed me to place EGG in water for rapid growth. But whats this!? EGADS! EGG SEEMS TO BE FLOATING! As if to tell me it does not wish to gro-

: NVM

So there you have it, the first moments of EGG's life beginning to blossom. I hope for a great growth story to show everyone, and I would be honored if you all stay with me, every step of the way.

Thank you.

[ChaosVortex]

So... this is just a regular chicken egg? I'm lost.

[preventerWIND]

But now I see that this is a very special egg, an egg that grows, and soon becomes a living breathing (not rly) being.

It is not a chicken egg, as stated, it's a special egg with a growing substance in it. I do not know what will come out of it at the moment, but I know it won't be a chicken, or a yolk for that matter.

[Aych]

THAT EGG IS STUPID. YOU'RE STUPID.

[preventerWIND]

WHAT A LOVING UNCLE YOU ARE AYCH!  :'(

[Zenaku]

You should name it something...

like... SMEGMA. That would be an awesome name.

AWESOME

[Jakey]

Name it Eva Longoria.

- UNCLE JAKE

[preventerWIND]

For now, the name stays as EGG. Since I do not know what it will be like when it comes out of the egg.. it could be a car for all we know. Or... a dinosaur.... OR! A CAR DINOSAUR! Wouldn't that be cool? eh? eh?

Also, more pictures.

::DAY 1.5::

I thought EGG would be somewhat bored or hungry, trapped inside the egg and glass.. So I decided I should feed him. First, I tried an apple, I want EGG to grow up healthy and strong after all.


: That didn't work out too well..

:I then tried for a more simple approach, perhaps some juice would be better, I poured powdered juice powder (lol) inside the glass. So he can drink easily.

: Doesn't seem to-

: Oh, #####!.


:I avoided the catastrophe at the last moment, I cleaned out the glass and gave EGG it's first bath.. after all this chaos, I wonder if I would be fit as a parent?

[Zenaku]

A cardinosaur named Smegma would be cooler.

[ChaosVortex]

Oh, I remember having one of these, except the Egg was plastic and whatnot. I got a Green Dinosaur.

[Alex]

You'd be fit as a parent alright.

A negligent one.

I bet it will be a Yoshi.

[Vinchenz Rock]

Happy Ending! ...?

Maybe. I'm curious what will come out of this egg as well.

[Captain Sanoguchi]

Uh... Dude, you're drowning your baby.

[Mikero]

This is cool. Can I be godfather?

[Johncarllos]

I call being his great-uncle if Mike is the godfather.

[Snare]

Oooh, dibs on being the wise, dignified grammaw.

[ChaosVortex]

And I'll be the insensitive jackass that claims to have been seeing the mother for the whore she is while I pay child's support and threaten WIND's life with guns 'n ##### 'cause I'm PO'd and yo' ain't that baby's daddy. *waves finger*

[Johncarllos]

I glanced at that and wondered why "roses" was censored.
Ha.

[Captain Sanoguchi]

'Cause Slash looks kind of foolish with the whole curly hair, top hat, sunglasses thing.

[Johncarllos]

Don't forget the leather and beer belly.
Scary.

[Captain Sanoguchi]

Scarier than Prince and Michael Jackson eating spaghetti off of the same plate?

[Johncarllos]

...
What the ##### is wrong with your head?

e_e

[Mikero]

Everyone knows Prince only eats pancakes.

... bitches.

[Slugkid]

Can I... Be the pet?

[Mikero]

You can... Be the pest.

^It's cool handsome baller ##### like that what makes me godfather material!

[Jakey]

I am the crazy uncle.  Who secretly does heroin.

[Mikero]

But are you the molester uncle or is that DZX9?

[Captain Sanoguchi]

Can I be the hillbilly cousin who only appears in one episode and then is never mentioned again?

[CM]

I hope it becomes a mutant squid and eats you alive.

Or at least horribly mangles you to the point where you can't use a keyboard.

[Captain Sanoguchi]

Refrencing anime is a stupid thing to do. Be smart, don't do it.

[Majikn]

I hope it becomes a mutant squid and eats you alive.

Or at least horribly mangles you to the point where you can't use a keyboard.

I hope it has powers of teleportation and decides to retain its figure by transporting all its fat to your body.

[ChaosVortex]

Refrencing anime is a stupid thing to do. Be smart, don't do it.

Saying hypocritical statements is a stupid thing to do. Be smart, don't do it.

[Jakey]

uhh...

time for noogies

[ChaosVortex]

Oh my God, Jake. You JUST ripped open a portal in my mind leading to my childhood. THANK YOU.

[Jakey]

Bobby?
What.
Bobby?
Whaaat.
BOBBY?
That's my name!

[Snare]

Oooh, I remember the Christmas episode.

The tree caught on fire...

And Bobby's present was okay and he got that Captain Squash handheld which was like a giant brick with a huge ass joystick on it and he was all THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT and then his cousin which was a parallel of his nasty ol' brother was all like :( cause he wanted it too, but Bobby was all like here take it and he was all happy and then he said THIS IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT and then the grandma/aunt/whatever was all like MY FRUITCAKE IS OKAY WANT A PEICE? And everyone was all like EW NO and she was all like :( and then Howard said OKAY JUST A SLICE and she was all :) I hope you know.

Nice egg by the way.

[CM]

I hope it becomes a mutant squid and eats you alive.

Or at least horribly mangles you to the point where you can't use a keyboard.

I hope it has powers of teleportation and decides to retain its figure by transporting all its fat to your body.

I actually hope it does a reverse effect of that, where it takes all my extra fat and turns it into some kind of soap.

[Johncarllos]

I am the crazy uncle.  Who secretly does heroin.

Uncle Tim?
I didn't know you were on the internet!
I thought were still in rehab from your last overdose!
(I'm not kidding though)

[Jakey]

That is so weird.  I have an Uncle Tim that used to do drugs and went to rehab! No joke!

[Johncarllos]

...
Are we cousins?

[Jakey]

I don't think so.  MY Uncle Tim was in rehab, like, 20 years ago.

[preventerWIND]

::DAY 2::

EGG is beginning to hatch! Of course, he's taking his sweet ass time.




Also.

ITS TIEM 4 A RAFUL! PUT NAEMS IN A BUKET AND ILL CHOSE 1!! The winning name will be EGG's new name.

[Kamon]

I add Saki to the bucket.

[preventerWIND]

*Saki is added to the bucket*

[Abominator]

Binky.

[preventerWIND]

*Binky is added to the bucket*
*slips Steve-o-saur Jr. into bucket*

M-my friend wanted to name it that...

>.>
<.<

[Johncarllos]

I add Colin to the bucket because 'call-in' and 'coal-on' sound similar.
Full name: Colin McSphincter

[ChaosVortex]

Mitch.

[Slugkid]

Jule. If it's female, May. But, you can name it march Marge. Or august...
Name him October!

[orclev]

Snow.